A relationship cannot survive on its own. It needs the care and nurturing of two people, giving to each other in a way that creates a mutually beneficial connection. To foster a deep and loving relationship, there needs to be
1: A sense of humor, some fun, and a bit of distraction from the rigors of daily life:
Just as we need to breathe to survive, your love needs a breath of fresh air to flourish. Giving your relationship what it needs to thrive is a truly loving gesture. You can’t spend all your free time “working” on your relationship—don’t make it a hobby. Discuss what you like to do, where you’d like to go, and how you both like to have fun. Then go do it.
2: Heartbreak may mean the end of a relationship, but it’s not the end of love:
Know this... life is too short to not kick fear in the ass and allow yourself to love again. People may call you a “hopeless romantic.” Be confident in knowing that you can be a romantic without being hopeless. There are good people out there; and that at least one of them is right for you. Don’t let your pain, fear, or anyone convince you to settle for less.
3: Be comfortable... but not too comfortable:
Sometimes the comfort of being in a relationship lulls you into mundane complacency; you become irrelevant in each other’s lives. We call this phenomenon growing apart. Don’t let this happen to you. Keep the spark alive. Flirt. Be on your best behavior. Keep interested in each other. Go on dates. Keep the passion going. Express your appreciation. Be a good friend. The true dynamic of a successful friendship and relationship is when the respect is mutual and reciprocal.
4: Sharing goals and dreams that resonate with both of you:
We are happier when we are working toward a goal than when we have achieved one. Make sure you always have something to look forward to and that you are pursuing it as a couple.
5: Compassion, acceptance, and forgiveness:
These will show you the way through a difficult time. If you are together for a while, there will be losses, challenges, and some things that you just can’t fix. Weathering the storms together is a big part of what relationships are all about.
6: We live in a multidimensional world. Don’t live a one-dimensional love:
If you love someone... feel it, speak it, show it, be it. Do more than tell them... show them. Let them feel your dedicated respect and your unwavering devotion. Ensure that your commitment and passion are known and unquestionable. Show them what they mean to you... what they are to you. And... if you don’t feel inspired to show your love in this multidimensional manner... be kind enough to let them go... so they can find someone who will.
7: Being able to admit mistakes and to talk about them:
We all screw up. Learning to understand and let go of mistakes that you or your partner make will turn your life around and give you more time for joy.
8: Don’t live an on-hold life:
Stop just sitting around waiting for “the right one.” The love of your life is out there... but they won’t just drop on your lap, nor you on theirs... so stop living an on-hold life! Go out there and experience your life, write your story, and live your fairy tale. It is on that journey that you’ll cross paths with the love that’s worthy of the story.
9: when entering into a personal relationship, be honest from the start:
Believe me when I tell you that I know it’s tempting to lie and smear the truth, but it never helps. It’s simply better to be honest from the start. The feeling of disappointment that comes with the realization that you are incompatible is much better than the feeling of pain and betrayal that comes with finding out that either of you (or both) are full of crap.
10: Sharing life lessons with the one you love:
When you discover something about life, or you make a self-correcting move that is healthy for your relationship, let your partner know. You’ll be surprised by the positive response.